“Often, the upbringing of a child can lead to conflicts within a couple. This is normal because when it comes to raising children, such situations are inevitable. However, the essential thing is to know that it is possible to instill good manners in your little ones without complete agreement. To maintain a coherent approach, both parties must make an effort to find common ground.”
There are as many opinions on how to raise children as there are parents. Each person has their own ideas about the role of parents. However, raising a child can lead to many conflicts within a couple. So, what can you do to find common ground on the values to teach them?
1. Effective Communication to Resolve Disagreements
Clearly discussing how you want to raise your child is crucial to avoid conflicts. To do this, try to identify your values together, the ones that hold importance in your lives. Remember that the education you provide to your child is the first they will acquire and will accompany them throughout their life.
It is important to keep the child out of disagreements. Consult with each other in their absence. So, what can you do to avoid giving conflicting opinions? To avoid conflicts, it is important to learn to anticipate. Remember that communication between parents is very important and should take place long before the birth of a child.
Agreeing on rules of living and the values you want to transmit to your child is not something to overlook. Learn to listen to each other, take into account each other’s experiences and backgrounds, and dare to express what you have in your hearts. Keep in mind that not agreeing on everything can be a source of open-mindedness and enrichment.
2. Present a United Front in Front of the Child
Even if you don’t agree, it is crucial not to show it in front of your child. Speak with one voice and discuss differences later. It’s important to know that educating a child primarily means teaching them basic rules of life and discipline. Keep in mind that when a child takes advantage of a disagreement to get what they want, they are not truly happy. Moreover, shouting and tension can make them feel fragile. On one hand, they feel insecure because they fear their parents might separate. On the other hand, they constantly feel responsible for their parents’ arguments.
If you want to maintain the respect and love your child has for your relationship, never blame your spouse in front of them. Always jointly take responsibility for a decision made against the child. Never change a punishment that was decided jointly, even if you think it is too severe. If a sentence needs to be modified, make the decision jointly and announce it together as well!
3. Share Areas of Authority for Better Management
Learning to compromise is essential if you want to avoid conflicts. First, learn to share responsibilities. Here, each person is the master of their domain, and each has their own territory! If your husband emphasizes politeness while you are a cleanliness and order enthusiast, you should ensure that his bedroom is perfectly tidy. Leave it to dad to teach good manners, like saying “hello” or “thank you.”
Second, even if you disagree, always respect the other person’s position. Most importantly, never ask your spouse to behave the same way as you do. Finally, for this to work, both of you must have confidence in the teaching the other offers.
It should be noted that although the couple should always show solidarity when it comes to decisions, sometimes they must show that they can have disagreements. This way, children will learn that there can be differences of opinion, but they do not affect the harmony between their parents.
4. Learn to Confront Different Points of View
This method will allow you to jointly find common ground in raising your child. Try to each make a concession when you cannot reach a compromise. Do not hesitate to discuss it with each other because it is a constructive and necessary conversation.
Furthermore, raising a child is a long-term endeavor. Therefore, discussions are very important. Indeed, these processes deserve a lot of your time. These discussions should preferably take place while the child is asleep or when they are at school. It should be noted that being a parent involves constant negotiation.