“Many couples wonder why their sexual clocks do not sync, despite the presence of love! Couples find it difficult to strike a balanced sensual accord between one’s expectations and the other’s desires. Indeed, desire does not blossom in the same way for women and men, neither in the body nor in the mind!”
It is well known that desire is the primary driver of sexuality. This feeling distinguishes a simple emotional connection from a romantic relationship. Also known as “libido,” it is sensitive to factors that vary from person to person: upbringing, emotions, fantasies, lifestyle, and more.
Influence of Hormones on Sexual Desire
Testosterone is the hormone of desire in both men and women. It is secreted by the testes and ovaries. Physiologically, testosterone production is lower in females. However, this does not necessarily mean a diminished sexual appetite! It should be noted that compared to the male body, the female body responds more easily to this hormone.
In women, the intensity of sexual desire is also affected by hormonal fluctuations. Therefore, libido is at its peak during the estrogen surge that precedes ovulation. This is also true for hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle. This observation does not apply in cases of contraception. However, after childbirth, libido decreases due to the “anti-desire” hormone known as “prolactin.” So, how can a couple overcome a decrease in desire if it occurs?
Moral pressure, religious or social taboos, culture, and upbringing can be significant moral pressures. Women tend to hide their desires and cravings under these influences. Men, on the other hand, are better at separating sexual desire from emotions. This is why they can have one-night stands without attaching much importance to them.
Furthermore, while women prioritize desire, men seek to fulfill their desire through impulse. Various factors come into play, such as the environment (location), foreplay (cuddling), and the situation.
When Age Guides Desire
Libido intensifies with experience and time in women. Generally, female sexual maturity is at its peak around the age of 35. After menopause, estrogen levels decrease, and the ovaries produce less testosterone. Nevertheless, even though female desire is motivated by various psychological factors, it does not disappear entirely. It should be noted that this period often marks a rekindling of desire in a woman’s life.
As for men, sexual desire emerges at puberty, with the onset of the first involuntary nocturnal erections or masturbation. Until the age of 50, libido is very pronounced but then gradually decreases. This phenomenon is referred to as andropause or a decrease in testosterone levels by specialists.
How to Find Common Ground for Intimacy
You may wonder why your partner always wants to make love in the morning while you do not. Do not panic because it is not meant to upset you. This situation is due to a 30% peak in testosterone upon waking in men. On the other hand, women need to have a clear mind and feel relaxed to feel desire. Therefore, the ideal time for them is undoubtedly in the evening. This way, they can forget about work concerns, and the children are all asleep.
Biological rhythms also come into play with the seasons. Female desire increases with the arrival of spring because estrogen levels peak at that time. As for men, sexual desire emerges at the beginning of summer.
Trying to Find Common Ground
When one partner does not feel like making love, the other party automatically feels unloved, rejected, or undesirable. This feeling is normal. To avoid such an awkward situation, try to communicate. After expressing frustrations and feelings, partners can rekindle the bonds that unite them. Even if you lack the desire, do not hesitate to make an effort at first. It is clear that after sweet words, cuddles, and tenderness, desire will spontaneously awaken.
In conclusion, both male and female desires can be quite temperamental. To preserve your relationship, each partner must demonstrate great maturity. Doing everything to overcome personal frustrations will help understand each other better!